I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
