The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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