I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
be right there i have to get my cape
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
