i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
