what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
