this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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