I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My pussy is not your playground.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
