there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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