Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
