Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
