Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
accomplished twins. life is a go
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
