This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
