yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
