If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
