The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
