Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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