I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
