Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
