Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
