fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
