Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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