I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
