I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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