she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
