I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
