It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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