batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
