You work out of a Hotel?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
