FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Randomize
