It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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