you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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