Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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