i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
