Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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