Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
