those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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