do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Drunk is not a location!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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