Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
