1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
A bitchslap is in order.
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