The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
