Cold hands, warm shart.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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