Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
