Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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