i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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