I am puke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
