I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
