she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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