belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
