The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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