You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
