With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
